Dear Polly,
I hope today reminds you of how special you are, not just to the people around you, but simply as the person you are.
I have started this letter so many times in my head, but somehow, whenever I try to put everything into words, the words never seem to be enough. So this time, I decided not to simply send you a message. I wanted you to have something you could open, something you could take your time reading, and something that would remind you that you are genuinely special to me.
Van jou inwerken, naar goede collega’s, naar goede vrienden, naar onze eerste kus in de Honda Fit, naar de craziest conversations, naar de eerste pijn, naar de roadtrips, naar some of the best times of my life.
Different stages, evolving feelings, different versions of us, same chemistry. Every chapter brought something different, and every version of us gave me memories and moments that I'll always carry with me.
There are so many things I appreciate about you. The way you make certain moments feel different, the conversations we've had, the laughs we've shared, and even the moments that were difficult. I've been through it all with you, and somehow, I've always felt more alive when I was with you. When I look back at everything we've shared, even the moments that may have seemed small or ordinary somehow became memories that mean the most to me. Like I've said before, if I could change one thing in life, it would be to have our paths cross much earlier.
I've made mistakes too. There are things I could have said differently, things I could have done better, and moments where I wish I had found the right words sooner. If I've ever hurt you, disappointed you, or made you question how much you mean to me, I'm truly sorry. That was never what I wanted.
And I want you to know that I always meant everything I’ve said to you. What I felt was real. My words were real. My feelings were real. My support was real. I never saw you as a game, and I never wanted anything from you that wasn't genuine. I wanted to be someone you could always count on, whether that meant being your friend, your biggest supporter, or, if life had ever taken us there, something more.
Maybe that's why I wanted to write this instead of simply saying it. Because some feelings deserve more than a quick text. They deserve a little effort, a little courage, and a moment where everything else becomes quiet.
I don't know exactly what the future will look like. I don't know what every chapter will bring, and maybe I don't need to know. But I do know that meeting you, knowing you, and having you in my life has meant something to me.
I care about you. More than I probably know how to explain.
Even if things aren't the same between us anymore, that doesn't erase what our time together meant to me. And if life takes us in different directions, I want you to know that I'll still wish the best for you. Even if we're not as close. Even if I'm no longer there beside you the way I once was.
I'll be rooting for you whenever you achieve something you've worked hard for, and I'll be happy when you're happy. I'll hope you find peace when life gets difficult, and that you keep growing, keep dreaming, and keep becoming the person you're meant to be. I hope you achieve everything you want in this life — the big dreams, the little dreams, the things you've told people about and the things you've kept quietly in your own heart. Climb that corporate ladder, challenge all the big players in the corporate world, and show them what you're capable of. The sky is the limit for you, and I genuinely believe that.
I hope you find the kind of happiness that feels peaceful. The kind of love that doesn't make you question your worth. The kind of life where you can look around one day and think, "I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."
As sunflowers always look for the light, I hope you do too. No matter what you've been through. No matter what you're still carrying. No matter how complicated life sometimes feels. I hope you keep finding your way toward the light. Keep growing. Keep believing in yourself. And never forget how much beauty there is in you.
I don't want this letter to be about expectations. I'm not writing this to ask you for anything. I'm not writing this because I expect an answer. I simply wanted you to know what was in my heart.
Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for the conversations. Thank you for putting up with my dramatic BS. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for considering me one of your best friends. Thank you for the good times. And thank you even for the difficult moments. All of it became part of a story that means a lot to me.
I miss sitting next to you in the office every day. I miss your venting sessions, your laugh, your scent, your hugs. I miss those random “gaan we een ijsje halen?” moments, our car conversations, and those completely random bed conversations that somehow could go on forever. I miss the “Ethennn”. I miss the little things, the silly things, the things that probably didn't mean much to anyone else but somehow meant a lot to me.
I guess what I really miss is your presence. Having you there, being able to share the most random parts of my day with you, and knowing that somehow, even an ordinary day could become a little more special just because you were there.
And wherever this story takes us, I hope you always remember that there was someone who cared enough to create an entire little world just to tell you how much you mean to him. Someone who genuinely wanted to see you happy. Someone who believed in you. And someone who, even from a distance, will always be rooting for you.
So today, on your birthday, I want you to remember this: you are special,
you are worthy of good things, and you deserve happiness.
And I hope this next chapter of your life brings you closer to all of it. I hope life is kind to you. I hope you find everything you're looking for.
But before you leave...